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Wait for your birthday.
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Travel by train to a competition.
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Ignore the announcement that the route has been modified due to signal failures. For best results, be sleep deprived and have your earphones in.
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Wonder why so many people are leaving the train at the stop before yours.
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Prepare to get off the train.
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Watch in horror as your stop gets further and further away.
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Get told the train won’t stop for another couple of hours until it reaches a station by the coast.
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Look out of the window at the appropriate time to get a glimpse of the sea peaking through the gap between two houses as the sun sets. Appreciate the beauty of nature for a second before you’re pulled relentlessly onwards.
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When the train finally stops, get off it and take the return train to your intended destination.
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Fail to maximise pity points for your misadventure at the competition. Only get second place.
Next week on Keeping Up with the Cowdashians … Buttercup voices concerns about Daisy’s plan to pose topless for Playbull magazine, fearing it’s perpetuating the male graze. Daisy points out that cows don’t wear clothes anyway, rendering Buttercup’s point mooooot. One of the most popular goose bands in the world, The Red Honk Chilli Peppers, is about to unveil their new member in a lavish event. Snowflake is over the moon when she receives an invite since she’s head over hooves in love with the lead singer. Drama arises when she beefs with protestors who want to ban gander reveal parties due to their tendency to go spectacularly wrong. CowyMcCowFace digests the shocking news she recently overherd about the farm next door. Then digests it again in her second stomach. And Ferdinand accidentally causes thousands of pounds of damage when shopping for a twentieth wedding anniversary gift. Coming up next, The Real Horsewives of New York say hay to their new neighhhbours, f
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